​Healing after Surgery: Learning about myself

I, Ava, had surgery about 4 weeks ago, on my cervix. For those who know a little about anatomy, you can guess that to let it heal I was not allowed to orgasm for these 4 weeks. I have learned a few things. 

This is one reason I haven’t had much context lately. The other is general writer’s block.

  • When I’m ridiculously horny, I want to bottom.

This is always interesting since I’m not mentally submissive at all. I don’t have a sub space, but I do enjoy letting my partner control the pleasure on occasion.

  • While I am insatiable, I am typically wanting and ready to go, however I’m rarely horny.
  • I enjoy being sexual weather or not I am willing to orgasm.

I wanted to orgasm, so badly, but I wasn’t willing to. I wasn’t willing to screw this up and have to retry the surgery. Orgasm now is not greater than safely having penetrative sex again after 133 says without it.

What I’ve thought about most is the bottoming aspect. I enjoy the feeling of restraints. I don’t feel powerless though, I don’t feel like I’m submitting by letting my husband top me. I feel like I’m letting him either reward himself, or complete a task (pleasuring me).

I feel like I both understand my thoughts and feelings on this, and yet still feel confused. Now that it’s safe to orgasm again, we will see where my mind goes.
13 days (nearly 12) until safe penetration!!! 120 days without full penetrative sex. (Boo)
Here’s my boobs:

Here are my breasts, i am currently unsure of their size as I have given up on traditional bras and am only wearing sports bras for now.

Ava’s Life: Choose Your Own Disaster

I’m changing my life. This website, my current activities, I’m actively taking control of my life. I don’t have a history of being passive exactly, but I have hung my life on others before, waited for them. I’m not waiting for others anymore.

Vance and I are amazing. We actively work together. Everyday I feel more love for him, and I look him in the eyes, and I see he feels the same.

My plan

I’m working on formulating my new road map. I really want to make a difference. I need to. The possibilities are near endless, but the destination is the same. I really want to make a difference in the world. I will. If I shed light on what I went through, what so many have gone through, we have a chance to prevent the pain, the next generation has a chance.

People often tell me how strong I am. Yes, I am strong, but I wish that for five minutes I didn’t have to be. I wish I didn’t know my limits only from repeatedly being forced beyond them. I wish I didn’t know what it was like to bury aspects of yourself so deep, only intense therapy and life changes lets them out. If I could choose, I would pick an easier life. But I didn’t, and that’s the issue, we don’t get to choose.

I didn’t choose my DNA, I didn’t choose to have a “sister” that was socially and emotionally unequipped to treat me as an independent human being. I didn’t choose to have a mother who is a hoarder and a cancer survivor. No choice in worrying about my father, a volunteer firefighter. It was conflicting to be so proud and so anxious. I had no choice in my eldest sister abandoning me in order to cope with her own issues.


Please, don’t misread the last paragraph. That’s not the only way I see my family. They all have qualities I admire, except maybe Bitch. I resent her a lot currently. I hope to move past it one day, only time will tell.

So who do I blame? What do I blame? Do I accept personal responsibility? Or do I even have any in this?

I do my best to be logical with blame, cause and effect matter. I was born, my health is not great, short sightedly I could blame my mom, as she has the same genetic condition. However, she had two healthy children before me. Well, mostly healthy, neither are completely devoid of issues, but both are capable of physically working more than 30 hours a week. Maybe I should blame my ancestors, ones long before there was a true diagnosis for what I have. Probably a random mutation and the hypersensitivity can be beneficial, I can detect weather changes, minor changes in temperature, and I can tell you if there is mold or mildew in an area very easily.


Sometimes it’s hard to know how to be realistic. I can easily succumb to fears, doubts, and the overwhelming sense of truama I live with. But it isn’t helpful to do so. It doesn’t help anyone.  That’s important to me, helping.  I guess it’s one of the only things I can see to make life worth living. If I can make someone else’s life better I’m of value. Because without that I just feel like a burden.

I know my partners think that’s crazy. They see my worth.  But I’m not them, and it’s hard to see sometimes.

Quick updates:

I know the blog has been quiet. Honestly I’ve been rather overwhelmed and had writer’s block.

But here’s some things to look forward to:

  • I got to see Lenore!
  • We finished our move and we see Jay more!
  • We will have a real vacation in a few months!

    Set wet my readers!

    Hurdle Jumping: Ava Advances

    Hello my playful perverts, Ava here.  I know it’s been a little while, I have a few posts in the works.  But I finally felt inspiration to make some progress and write a post.  Hurdles, we all have them, especially when there’s been ongoing abuse or mental issues.  Conquering a hurdle can take many forms, at least this time is was joyous and sexy.

    My loving husband Vance and my beautiful girlfriend Lenore helped me over my latest hurdle.  A few weeks ago my bitch of a “sister” sent me an email.  After that, I have been unsettled.  I haven’t felt safe or focused.  We didn’t come up with a plan, this hurdle jumping was spontaneous.

    The Jump

    It had been a little bit since I had a long talk with Lenore.  We had missed each other the day before, so I knew I had about 45 minutes before Vance came home.  I went ahead and called Lenore to catch up.  I also hoped to flirt a bit, and was horny, so I used one of my vibrating bullets on my clitoris.

    Wearing a corset and panties I called my girlfriend.  We caught up a bit, and then Vance came home.  He entered the room and noticed the sound of the pulsing vibrator.  With much confusion he asked who I was talking to, and I explained.

    For a bit, he did his own thing, then came and laid next to me on the bed.  He had trouble resisting his sexy wife on the phone with her girlfriend half dressed.  Starting slow he touched my panties, manipulating the bullet and making me writhe.  I lightly giggled but didn’t let on what he was doing.  I did explain to Lenore that I was using a vibrator, she made a few flirty comments.

    Hurdle, Head Long into Excitement

    Vance decided to tease me and had me remove my panties.  Keeping the bullet in place, he started to finger me.  My breathing got heavy and he let his intention to make me moan for Lenore known.  I love it when he gets that determined, powerful, heavily sexual look in his blue eyes, they glow.  

    For a minute he removed the bullet and rubbed my clit with his thumb.  Sometimes his touch gets me off faster than the vibrator, sometimes I need vibration to make me cum.  I was nervous, but building towards orgasm.  Manually pleasuring me for a few minutes I thrashed around trying my best to hold the phone to my ear.  Realizing I wasn’t building to orgasm, Vance put the bullet back in place for the final moments.  I came hard on his fingers.

    Finishing Up The Call

    After I loudly came in Lenore’s ear, Vance removed his fingers and filled me with his cock, bullet still on my clit.  Ever thrust made me moan deeply into the phone.  Lenore’s breath sounded like she was trembling from excitement.  Vance focused and fucked me hard, cumming quickly from the excitement.

    Panting I checked in with Lenore.  She enjoyed every second.  My post orgasm glow continued longer than the phone call, and even persisted for over an hour.  That’s when I realized it wasn’t normal afterglow, I felt lighter and happier than I had in months.  

    Without trying to we took a huge step.  I feel safe, loved, and wanted by both Lenore and Vance.  Lenore promptly jumped her husband after the call, who had been naked while she paced on the phone.  If know we all look forward to this again.

    Cheers my horny readers, I need to make a phone call…

    Ava Explores Exhibitionism: First Nude Pics

    I, Ava, have resisted taking photos nude, my privates have always been covered near a camera, for 28 years. Today, March 30th 2017, I release to the world my first ever nude photos. I present them unedited, nude in every way.

    My Nude Self

    My sexuality terrifies me.  I’m afraid to be like my abuser, to be in touch, and to share it with the world, and yet every fiber of my being wants to do these things. As I have healed I’ve felt braver, I’ve confronted more. I’m excited to publish my first nude photos to the world. Vance took these simple, point and shoot, pictures. We didn’t do much prep, I just proposed the idea because I was ready.

    Without further delay:

    First Picture:

    Picture Two:

    Picture Three:

    Picture Four:

    Picture Five:

    My Nude Body

    One thing I strive for is honesty.  Many people like me because I’m very genuine. So, I have no filters, no editing aside from possibly cropping the picture, or perhaps changing the brightness of the photo.  I think it’s important to be completely real about this.

    I’m not the thinnest person, nor the largest, and I am comfortable with myself overall.  I could lose a little weight on my stomach and arms.  That’s it.  Those are all of my issues with my looks as far as shape.  I have a few extra pounds that I put on from medication.  I lost any chance of ever being called petite when my hips came in at 12.

    The only other thing I ever feel self conscious about is my skin.  I have a lot of breakouts, and I have done everything in my power to fight them.  Fibromyalgia, an autoimmune condition which is based in inflammation, is the root of my breakouts.  I cannot help but continuously break out when I’m in a flare, a period of increased symptoms.  My skin swells at the smallest touch sometimes.  Pressure marks can take more than 20 minutes to leave my skin.  Lenore can tell you how I broke out less in high school  than I do right now.

    The Adult Gallery has been updated to include the pictures above, and some new photos of Vance.

    Enjoy my dearies, I’ll be keeping the water warm.

    Bondage: Vance Teased With Pleasure

    Life tends to get in the way of some of the important things, like bondage.

    We are building our own house, so Vance has been extra busy both overseeing and doing his own work on some of the tasks. He has also been spending his time volunteering with a conference for his career. I really admire his passion and dedication, but I do wish we had more sex. We will in time though, we both know it, however I’m not always the most patient person.

    We finally had time for a proper play session.

    Bondage Finally!

    Vance lay in the center of the bed, arms straight out, then cuffed to the under bed restraint system. He spread his legs wide and I cuffed them as well. I placed the bridle/bit gag in his mouth, and firmly tightened it around his head. I took my blindfold and covered his eyes. The anticipation of his breath was intoxicating.

    Sitting naked next to him on the bed, I began messaging Jay and snapped a picture of my helpless mortal.
    I casually began running my fingers up and down his cock and balls, watching them tighten with excitement.

    Let’s get Sensual

    My lips were next, I leaned forward and began covering his cock with gentle kisses. His excitement was palpable. Vance has never made much precum, but several beads began seeping and built into a small stream down the head of his cock. My tongue started on his aching balls, and with steady strokes my tongue moved up his shaft, licking his oozing excitement from his tender skin. His precum is pleasantly mild, not too salty, and just the right texture.

    I pause for a moment and watch the anticipation build with each heart beat. He lightly whimpers for my touch.

    I pick up our lube bottle, it has a convenient pump for dispensing, and hold it above his slowly writhing cock.
    I anoint his cock with a slow depression of the pump, savoring his gasp. The sounds he makes, with lube being drizzled on his cock, are filled with lust, joy, and the agony of promised pleasure.

    Satisfied with the amount of lube rolling towards his balls, I set aside the bottle, and use one finger to spread the lube on his shaft. His breathe immediately catches in his throat, while his teeth bare harder on the rubber gag.

    I Get too Excited

    I shift and notice there’s a wet spot on the bed where I was. My body is lightly trembling with desire. I realize I’m too excited, he’s too excited, and I just want to jump him. In order to edge him, I have to pause stroking before he cums. However this time I have to pause after three to five strokes since he’s too close.

    I unhook his ankle restraints from the bed, and put his legs together and clip the leather cuffs. I find it most comfortable when his legs are pressed firmly together so I can straddle him. Riding Vance has never gotten him off, at least with me. The rhythm I need is not the same as his needs in this position. Typically this is very beneficial since I’m using him as my own dildo. This time though, he is desperate to cum, beyond his usual drive.

    I slide on his cock, groaning, my body trembles. My default is tight, each time we start sexually we begin with one finger, then two, and only then do we either go to three, toy, or cock. Vance loves to work me up sometimes with the first penetration being his cock for the sensation. As long as I’m excited enough, it works well, but I do love the lead up. Each time the first finger drives me wild. Being in bondage, I don’t allow Vance to finger me.


    I start riding him, rocking my body hard on his cock, with a vibrator on my clit. He begins to call out “use me Goddess, I’m your human dildo, use me!” I came hard and fast. Then I stay in the same position, only leaning forward to kiss his nose.

    Vance, still in bondage, moves his knees apart and begins to thrust upward, biting down on the bit gag in his mouth and moaning. I can’t help but moan too at his deep thrusts. It doesn’t take him long to build and climax. I revel in feeling his pulsing cock inside me.

    When I move off of my husband there’s a river of fluids running down his hip onto the sheets.

    Cheers Dearies


    Healing, Health and Hindrance

    As discussed and referenced in many aspects of this blog, I, Ava, am healing from sexual trauma. I was abused sexually, emotionally, and physically. I want to explore some of my current progress to my Healing, my emotional/mental Health, and how I’m dealing with triggers and repression my Hindrance.

    Let’s note that I planned on writing more here, but it’s been very difficult lately. So without further ado, I present my emotional progress as of February 2017.

    Trigger Warning

    I deeply discuss in this post some aspects of my abuse. I don’t want to force anyone to confront a trigger they are not prepared for, so consider that before reading. Also, I if you get any sexual pleasure from this post, keep it to yourself, I will not tolerate any fetishized version of my trauma. Thank you.


    Healing is not easily measured, especially when repressed feelings and memories are at play. Progress is progress, but I get impatient I know. I do know that I’ve touched on another repressed memory, I had a clue there was another not too long ago, however I sadly confirmed this. Knowing I have another unknown is painful and brings fear. What could be worse than I have recovered? Does it have to be worse, because it feels like each memory recovered has been worse. Perhaps that’s more linear than my brain actually thinks, one can only hope.


    I am active on fetlife and was contacted by a woman who identified strongly with what I wrote in my profile as her mother was her abuser. This is my second reply to her, and I like the way I summed up my recent thoughts.

    I know I’m doing well, I do get impatient but I can’t force my brain on this. I just confirmed in the last week that I have at least one more traumatic memory repressed. It was hinted at in a dream, but I definitely ran into the wall recently.

    I also was recognizing new layers of triggers where I’m just mentally blocked, like a quiet trigger, no panic, just can’t quite make it work there.
    I’m also now acutely aware that my sister bullied me until I cut ties with her last year. She abused me on every level and was offended by every personal boundary I’ve ever set near her. She would lash out. I’m still learning how to state a boundary and not get screamed at, belittled, or hit. She’s older, so it’s literally the only thing I ever knew, which you probably understand.


    Yes, battles on my terms, taking it back, that’s what I’m trying to focus on now. When I faced a trigger last week (how I realized more was repressed) I realized making it my own, taking over and rewriting my history with the trigger would be best. I had done that on several levels by repressing the bad memories I was able to experience some of my firsts in my own way, my own memories, not the experiences I was traumatized by.

    Unfortunately a lot of kink quietly triggers me. My sister was into BDSM and a lot of my repression is around being exposed to certain aspects. It wasn’t like she played out full scenes, just exposure at a young age in an extremely unhealthy and welcomed way. So I can’t separate my desires and being triggered much. At least I’m finally healing.


    My brain has been in a dark area, and it’s not pleasant. Overall I’m doing well, it’s dark now, but I know it will get better. I’ve been on this ride a few times now. It’s strange to see how pervasive this abuse is, but honestly it’s just logical that I would be this deeply damaged. I feel like I’m getting past the meat of it, down to the bone. Is my foundation rotten?

    I love the metaphor that abuse is a festering wound. We must cut out the infection and sterilize the flesh. We can only see the true depth when the surface begins to heal. I hope it doesn’t go down the bone.


    I feel demoralized by the realization that I have another repressed memory. It breaks my heart to know that there is more, that I still have things I can’t face.

    Currently, I’ve been extra shut down. With the stress of the current political climate, building a house as a couple, and my health being extra poor right now, I haven’t made much progress. I know every little bit is good, however I don’t feel like much has changed.

    I present the following list of my currently known abuse triggers.


      • Nipple Clamps
      • Masturbation in the Presence of Others
      • Masturbation while alone
      • Semi Specific References to Female Submission
      • Tampons
      • Receiving Oral Sex
      • Binder Clips

    Even just sitting on the table.

    Trauma Writing: Brief Update

    I’ve been hoping to have a profound post here, but I’m a bit stuck. I’ve worked on it over and over, but writing about trauma is rather a fragmented process.

    Trigger Warning

    I deeply discuss in this post some aspects of my abuse. I don’t want to force anyone to confront a trigger they are not prepared for, so consider that before reading. Also, I if you get any sexual pleasure from this post, keep it to yourself, I will not tolerate any fetishized version of my trauma. Thank you.


    There was a quote I heard recently about trauma being a break in the linear story of your life. It’s something to think about. The continuity of life is disrupted.

    As I go into on my about me page, I was abused by my sister over 8 years. I’m finally healing and recovering memories, I didn’t repress it all, however I did repress the worst bits.

    I was over exposed to not only her body as she was a nudist (screaming if I looked away), but her sexuality, and what she decided she knew about mine. She made me touch myself in front of her to “teach” me and told me about BDSM when I was too young. She sexually violated me in a few ways, they are vague, nonlinear, but vivid in and odd mix of details. Most of the traumatic memories I have recovered in my life are broken, yet typically there is enough details to confirm their reality. I have had one false memory, I think a nightmare I had later, creep in. However I did my validation check on it, and the details didn’t add up.

    In the nightmare memory I was under a blanket that I never owned, didn’t grow up with, on a bed that I did grow up on. It was my ex’s blanket. My trauma with him, while wasn’t rape or sexual, has been linked in my brain. It’s painful to say the least. I’m tired, I’m sick of remembering and thinking about this everyday. I don’t want her or him in my brain anymore. But that’s not how life works, not how memories work.


    I want to sleep well again, if I ever did. My first occurrence of PTSD and repressed memories happened when I was five, few years before the abuse. I had an accident and had to be put back together, I felt everything. Numbing agents don’t work on me.

    I’ve been a live wire to pain ever since, both emotional and physical.

    On that depressing note I’m stepping off this post. I know, it’s not sexy or fun like most are, however it’s a part of my sexuality. My triggers are many and I want none. One day hopefully I will succeed.

    Sensual Happy New Year

    January 1st, how predictable. Yes we survived 2016 and have entered 2017. I have mixed feelings about this new year, but no matter how I feel life moves on. For New Years Eve Vance and I, Ava, hosted friends for nonsexual fun. It was difficult that Jay was here and we didn’t play because we miss him, but we had fun anyway.

    Announcement: Vance and I got married

    We semi-eloped, inviting our parents, and went to the courthouse. It was both very difficult to keep it to ourselves and rather fun to surprise the people we know.

    You may have a question, why so soon? Didn’t we meet this year, are you crazy? Well, a few reasons for the timing, mostly practical purposes. We love each other, have zero doubts, and paperwork is easier when you’re married. Soon we will be sharing all bills and insurance, there’s a lot of paperwork steps when you get married. We did meet this year, and we probably are crazy. I feel that if this is a mistake, it’s one I really want to make. But everything inside says this isn’t a mistake. We fit, mentally, sexually, emotionally. Do we fight, yes of course, but at no point do we want to bail.

    We also picked the timing for travel reasons, his mom travels for work, and she would be in town that day.


    I have a few, so here goes:

      • Improve my Health

    I have a few ideas to kick my fibromyalgia in the ass.

      • Wear More Corsets

    Let’s face it, they are fun.

      • Continue my Healing Journey

    I am tired of my emotional bullshit caused by my Bitch of a sister.

      • Fight for Human Rights

    I do live in the USA, an asshole was elected to office and I refuse to sit down and be quiet. Human rights are under-fire, as a bisexual poly-amorous atheist female I am under-fire. There are too many threats and it’s too easy to sit with your head up your own ass. I refuse to go quietly into the night.

    New Term Discovered: Sensual BDSM

    According to the fetlife group Sensual Domination and Sensual BDSM there is a term I was missing out of my BDSM vocabulary. Sensual Play/Dominance/BDSM.

    Sensual BDSM — the blending of sensuality with BDSM is innate to some, a contradiction to others, and a concept that many are completely unaware of due to the prevalent belief that BDSM only involves giving or receiving pain in a sadistic manner.

    The sensual submissive — The sensual submissive does not usually respond well to the violence and pain of BDSM. They respond to the simple power over the mind and body. The control is the dominant, their closeness, their strength of mind and company is enough to start this submissive on their journey. They succumb to their dominant by mere voice, touch and presence. Sensual play brings them deeper under the dominants control until the desired state is achieved.

    The sensual dominant — As its BDSM counterpart, the dominant draws their satisfaction from power. Violence is usually not the sensual dom/mes way, but control still is very much a part of it. It’s more of a slower, more sensual attack on the mind and body. Matched with their sensual submissive counterpart, they steep in that power and control, building strength and momentum with their responses, just as the BDSM dominant does from their play.

    I found this to be extremely descriptive of what we do! Vance likes pressure, some pinching, and sensation play, but that’s the breadth of his pain/discomfort play. Jay enjoys his balls tugged, he seems to have a stronger masochistic drive than either Vance or me, but it’s all about the control and the pleasure for us. Finding that there is a subsection of BDSM that we belong to is exciting.

    I hope you all enjoy a Sensual and Sexy New Years week!

    I’m considering keeping a tally of orgasms experienced in my presence, let me know what you think of that.

    Happy Humping.

    Hunting Lenore: A Fantasy of Prey Play

    Lenore has more exotic BDSM desires than I, Ava, do. I try to understand them since I want to enjoy each other on many levels, I love indulging my partner’s fantasies. I recently stumbled across a kink.com video of predator prey, I had asked a few people what that entailed before but never got an answer I could relate to. This video however was pretty hot, and I could see how some people could get a thrill out of it.

    Without further ado, I give you my fantasy!

    New World Animal: Predator-Prey Play

    Lenore arrived home five minutes late. She slowly approached the front door since Tim had warned her that we wanted to play. He told his wife that Vance, Tim, and I would be waiting to take her when she got home. She knew we had all discussed what was going to happen without her. She could feel her excitement growing as she unlocked the front door.

    The hall was dark and quiet. Lenore held her breath listening for any signs of us. When she turned on the light for the hallway she found a note,

    All clothes must be removed before further entry, then the game begins.

    Lenore felt the warmth rush through her body, flush with excitement she began removing her clothes.

    Prey is Hunted

    Nude she started down the hall, and I turned off the lights behind her. Lenore gasped and froze for a second as Vance tried to use as deep a voice as possible to say “Run.” Lenore darted out of the hallway into the living room, and swiftly dodged Tim’s arms. The men began pursing Lenore through the house as I made my way to the bedroom.

    I heard a few high pitched squeaks from Lenore as she attempted to remain free, and some guttural laughs from both Tim and Vance. I pictured them hard and trying to tackle or grab Lenore. A few moments of listening to the excitement and I can hear Lenore’s protests as she is hauled to the bedroom.

    Prey is Caught

    Tim carries Lenore into the room, followed by Vance, all three are nude. I am only wearing my strap on harness. Vance and I hold onto Lenore as Tim readies the ropes. Tim begins pinning Lenore’s arms to her sides, restricting her motion completely. She is squirming throughout the process, but you can see the glint of excitement in her eyes.

    Tim picks Lenore up, and sits on the bed. Vance and I help put her in the right position to slide onto Tim’s cock. She squeals as he penetrates her completely. I push her forward, so she is chest to chest with Tim and position my strap on to enter her ass. I lubed the dildo while they pursued the chase.

    Lenore’s eyes go wide when she feels the cold tip of the strap on touch her ass. I push into her, and she lets out a deep moan as we begin the double penetration. Vance tips her head back, mouth gaping open, and slides his cock into her mouth. We all indulge in using our captured prey.


    Ultimately we all cum, Lenore does multiple times. The four of us rest together, naked and in post orgasmic bliss.

    This is a fantasy, I have never indulged in prey or primal play before. I don’t think it will be a regular thing for me, however it would be memorable.

    Stay Wet my lovelies. -Ava

    December 2016: Founding XXXmas

    Vance loves to say that, “it’s Ho Ho Ho time” mostly because it kind of drives me, Ava, crazy. I’m not a fan of xmas… maybe if it were xxxmas. We were both raised religiously and I just don’t have much love for this time of the year. For me it’s just stress, cold, and presents. Don’t get me wrong, I love presents, but it’s just so transparent and feels cheesy to me.

    Another reason to not be into holidays? All that family time makes it harder to have sex. Anything that makes having sex more difficult really bothers me, I prefer fucking over family time. Selfish? Probably, but so is making grand lists of presents and demanding them.

    Special Announcements

    I know it’s been a little bit since I’ve written a story, however I’ve worked on a few. Truth is, Vance and I have been regularly fucking, but Jay hasn’t been around much. Holidays just took over, and with the shortened day light our schedules have changed. For about three weeks Vance and I didn’t have a single full bondage session, which hadn’t happened before. When we finally did our orgasms were really incredible.

    Leonore hasn’t been around much, and my understanding is that she’s going through something emotionally. I can’t say I’m shocked, a lot has happened this year, I know I’ve been going through a lot. Especially with my recovery. I have dreams occasionally about Bitch, but they have been less intense, more worry and annoyance than terror or tears. I miss her, of course, but we met before the twin towers fell, I know we will catch up when we can.

    A few Amusing Tales

    Today Vance’s holiday present arrived in the mail, and I wouldn’t let him open it. He did feel the need to ask if the present was safe to open in front of parents. Much to his disappointment it is, well not that much to his disappointment, he was fine with it. We just had nice back and forth about it.

    I have excellent news too, I have a brand new digital camera! I can now take quality photos on the camera and never have them associated with my phone. Since my identity is a closely guarded secret, with this layer of protection I now feel safe to take nudes! I’ve taken a few by myself just to adjust to the idea. I know it not only bothers my brain for safety and life reasons, but also because Bitch took nudes and I looked down on that. I’m dealing with this association, and soon I will be posting my first ever nudes.

    I think we kinky and liberated people should have our own winter holiday. We exchange stories, nudes, sexual favors, or more, so Xmas becomes XXXmas. It could happen any day in the winter, cold outside, but steaming up the windows if fun. As my header says, slide in, water’s warm. I’ll turn it up to hot soon enough.

    So, with that shared, I shall sign off. Don’t worry, I’ll be cumming back soon. -Ava

    Enjoy your XXXmas!